By Sandra Hager Eliason In my transition from Doctor to Writer, I thought the hardest lesson would be moving from emotionless, “objective” medical …The Ethics of Silence
I haven’t had a beer in three months. When I go to the grocery store I typically stand in front of the refrigerated beer case for several minutes surveying the choices. The cans are colorful, designed by those whose understand the science of attraction and they are successful in making me stop and browse. The most surprising thing besides not recognizing most of the choices was the fact I still have no desire for a beer. Real world proof the less you have something the less you want it. This is probably true for most things except chocolate and pizza.
For the first time in a long time I’ve been thinking about removing beer from my Don’t Have It In the House list. The scale tells me I’m holding steady at 169-170. For years I dreamed about reversing the ravages of time believing I could disprove the long held belief that everyone puts on a pound or two every year the older you become. Well this “inevitable” weight gaining process doesn’t have to happen. You have to be disciplined about what you eat and what you have to make sacrifices if you want to avoid taking up two seats instead of one on the bus and/or diabetes, and…
“Weight change is a common symptom when people are having difficulty coping with mental health challenges. A majority of adults (61%) reported experiencing undesired weight changes since the start of the pandemic, with more than 2 in 5 (42%) saying they gained more weight than they intended. Of this group, adults reported gaining an average of 29 pounds (with a median gain of 15 pounds), and 1 in 10 (10%) said they gained more than 50 pounds. For the 18% of Americans who said they lost more weight than they wanted to, the average amount of weight lost was 26 pounds (median of 12 pounds).”American Psychological Association
Stress in America February 2021 Harris Poll
You have to make hard choices and oftentimes difficult sacrifices. Like keeping beer as Number One on the you know what list and being extremely disciplined when tempted standing in the store where temptation rears her fangs. I am not a saint nor do I plan on placing beer on a Never Eat or Drink list. I’ve merely chosen to drink a lot less of the stuff because I know this beverage puts the weight on for me.
Besides I’ve gotten a lot of expressions of shock from people who haven’t seen me in a while. I guess dropping over 20 pounds will elicit such comments. I’ve had to pull my belt in by two notches. But I really think my face lost weight because faces can and do lose weight. What you think?
By Rasma Haidri
All writing is hard work, and the memoirist’s work is among the hardest. Journaling, whether stuttered fragments or flowing spontaneous prose, is among the easiest as it doesn’t have to do anything or go anywhere or impress anyone. No one is going to read it. Journals are where we record the raw material for memoir. The journal narrates ideas, dreams and struggles in a context we are now far removed from. The journal’s narrator always predates who we think we are today.Are Journals Memoir? — BREVITY’s Nonfiction Blog
I’ve finally written an introduction to my future best seller that I’m actually satisfied with. The five or six previous versions are trash. Hopefully I’ll still be happy with my latest draft. Only 10 Chapters to go.
“Sure but don’t tell your Mom I said you could.”
The TOMC (The Old Man Car) era has ended. Our relationship started January 2007. I bought TOMC after going car-less for a few months. I lost my executive level job and the company car that went with the position. The company car was a brand new Ford Taurus. We were browsing at the local Carmax when the salesman said to me,
“Hey, we just got one (Taurus) in. You want to take a look at it?”
When we got to the car on the lot I looked at the price and said,
“I’ll take it.”
“Don’t you want to test drive it?”
Today was an emotional day. It was hard saying goodbye to a faithful friend after 14 fabulous years. But by tomorrow I think I’ll be just fine.
I got this in the mail today from a local Congresswoman (YES, Congresswoman not Congressperson). I’m not sure what happened to Barbara. Or Eric. I’m guessing this politician is looking for same sex support.
Father’s Day 2020 – Pandemic Version
Dad died nearly 24 years ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long. When I started writing this I honestly believed the words would come pouring out, the memories would be sharp and events that happened so long ago would feel as if they happened yesterday. Well, guess what? I’ve been stumbling over my words, all of my memories are somewhat foggy at this point, and few events stand out as worthwhile things to write about. When you write as much as I do not having anything to write about (especially on Father’s Day) is odd. But the more I think about this I remember the thing I want to write about. I want to tell you about Dad’s Old Car.
“I had this habit for a long time, I used to get in my car and I would drive back through my old neighborhood, a little town I grew up in. And I would always drive past the little houses I used to live in…and I got so I would do it really regularly, for years. And I eventually got to wonderin’, what the hell am I doin? And so, I went to see a psychiatrist (laughter), this is true!…and, I sat down and I said, ‘you know, doc, for years I’ve been getting in my car, and I drive back to my town and I pass my houses late at night and, you know, what am I doing?’ And he said, ‘I want YOU to tell me what you think you’re doing.’ So I go ‘that’s what I’m paying YOU for.’ So he says, ‘well, what you’re doing’ he says ‘is that something bad happened, and, you know, you’re going back, you know, thinkin’ that you can make it right again. Something went wrong and you keep going back to see if you can fix it, and somehow make it right.’ and I sat there and I said, ‘that IS what I’m doing.’ And he said, ‘well you can’t’.”
Dad’s Old Car was a Chevy Bel Air. It was a turquoise and brown Chevrolet Bel Air, the brown being the various rusted out spots scattered where rust happens to an older car. The car was bought used. Dad never bought new cars probably because he couldn’t afford new cars. As much as I think fondly of that car now, as a kid I could hardly hide my embarrassment for the fact our family had to drive a beater. I was angry too. When I got my driver’s license the car insurance premium soared to an unaffordable level for a family of six having trouble making ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck. Dad asked me to surrender my license which I agreed to. When the insurance company got proof from the motor vehicle agency I no longer had a license, they lowered the premium back down.
One day when I wasn’t being lectured or yelled at or yelling back I asked Dad why he never bought new cars.
“A car gets you from point A to point B. That’s it. You can spend as much as you want or as little as you want. They all do the same thing.”
“Now the neighbors come from near and far
As we pull up in our brand new used car
I wish he’d just hit the gas and let out a cry
and tell ’em all they can kiss our asses goodbye”
Used Cars – Springsteen
It’s funny the things you think about, the memories that come alive on certain days. And while we’re on the topic of Dad’s Old Car here’s an update on TOMC (The Old Man Car). TOMC hit 70,000 miles last year. On Father’s Day 2020 this is where the odometer sits:
Thanks for the life advice Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
This is not a product endorsement but I could not resist re-posting this picture.